Doctor Doom, one of Marvel's preeminent villains, may not seem like the kind of dictator that gets into the Christmas spirit, but don't let appearances fool you. Doom's a bit metallic - and eccentric, to be sure -- but his heart's in the right place. Don't believe us? We've got an excerpt from Doom's own Holiday card right here; read and judge for yourselves, dabblers...
Loyal Subjects,
With Doomsgiving behind us, It is once again the Holiday season! The tree has been decorated with the treasures of the pirate Blackbeard, the goblets are full of delicous Doomnog, and as we approach this year's mandatory two-hour Christmas celebration (increased from last year's 90 minutes, for is not Doom a generous ruler?), Doom would like to take a look back and share some of this year's treasured memories with you, his adoring countrymen.
Citizens should be reminded that readership of Doom's annual Christmas letter is mandatory and will be enforced by robots.
The loyal subjects of Latveria will no doubt recall that it has been a very eventful year for your beloved sovereign! Doom was once again named Man of the Year and Most Eligible Bachelor by Latveria Today, and recieved the prestigious Victor Von Doom Award for Outstanding Achievement in Being Smarter and Cooler than The Accursed Reed Richards!
But what you may not know -- save those of you who whisper amongst yourselves, apparently forgetting that Doom sees and hears all, and who can shortly expect a visit from Doom's Rage Division -- is that the man you believed was your revered monarch was occasionally one of the many robotic duplicates that Doom uses to throw off the hated enemies of our peaceful land, the Fantastic Four.
For instance, the Dr. Doom that was rumored to have resorted to something called "Wikipeda," an unreliable research tool whose accursed moderators refuse to acknowledge Doom's assertions that the accursed Reed Richards is a massive tool and his wife is like the town doorknob (everyone gets a turn)...
abbracadabbling doesn't have an official opinion about whether or not we agree the Invisible Woman's like the town doorknob the good Monarch claims, but we're not going to say he's wrong, either. What we do have is the link to the truly exceptional Comics Alliance, where you'll find the Doom Card in its entirety. Enjoy! [Link]
